Soylent Green is made from...well you know.

1966.
The year Star Trek came out and showed us in 200 years, we'd have these compact handheld devices that we could talk to anyone on the planet instantly. We did it in 30.
Also that year there was a book called "Make room, Make room" which later became the movie "Soylent Green"

Mmmmmm People

This story was set in the far future of an overpopulated 2022.  If you have never seen it (spoiler!), the famous punchline at the end is that "Soylent Green is made from people". 
Not FOR people FROM people. As in Pate'.

Now in the 60's and 70's there was a lot of handwringing about overpopulation and for some reason today we never hear much about it, even tho we have double the world population now.
So, I humbly suggest we are already eating people. Here is my evidence:

Why the creepy smile?  He knows your whopper is made from whoppers.

Think about it.  We have 900,000 people a year reported missing, up from 150,000 in 1980.

We have pink slime in our food.  What the hell is that shit?  Wouldn't ground up people be pink?

Actual pink slime.  I think I went to school with that guy.

Thanks to idiot voters, we don't (in California) have our food labeled. (like they would tell your McRib actually had ribs in it)

We are on average 20 lbs heavier today than in 1990.

Kirstie Alley 1980's

Kirstie Alley today.

And then there are the guys that eat homeless peoples faces off and the Jeffery Dahmer's out there. (I think that means we are getting accustomed to the sweet sweet taste of human flesh)

So either we are eating people or there are big bald aliens in D.C. with a cookbook.

It's a cookbook, not a binder full of women.

Sister Wives For All - Part Deux

Yesterday I spoke of a new polygamist standard under a Romney regime if he's elected today.  Yesterday should of been called Brother Husbands (no way to not make that sound gay).  Today the men get to find out the benefits of the new world order!

So, the premise is in a Romney administration, everyone will have three spouses to meet the needs that just one can't.  Here are the candidates.

The Slut, Whore, Skank (whatever women call each other) - This is the woman who has been around and I mean the entire Denver Broncos around.  She's the beta tester for new venereal diseases.  Even her mother won't kiss her on the mouth.  When you ask her to try something new in bed, she laughs.

Some will have real boobs.

The Homemaker - This is the Domestic Goddess.  The Alpha Mom. She keeps the house clean and when you have the flu, she feeds you chicken soup in bed.  She is the wife you can cry in front of and not be called a pussy.  She takes care of the kids and runs the house like R. Lee Ermey**  She can bake cookies and kiss a boo boo at the same time.

Somehow always 8 months pregnant

 

**R. Lee Ermey ---- Soccer Mom

The Shy One - This is the wife that came in a virgin and may stay that way.  She  may also be Emo or Goth (I still don't know the difference).  In her spare time she writes in a journal and cuts herself.  She doesn't clean or care for sex, so you will pretty much ignore her.  She covers her face anytime someone talks to her.  Also studied French or another useless language.

You may never find out what she looks like.

You may wonder, "What do they do for jobs?"  Pshaw! Women won't need to work under a Romney administration, in fact it will probably be illegal!  Besides with birth control and abortions outlawed, your sister wives will be pregnant all the time and who wants to pay for all that maternity leave.

Sister Wives For All!

President Romney, bring back polygamy!

One thing the American public should demand if Willard is elected tomorrow is that he bring back polygamy and not just bring it back, it should be required.

All people should be forced to enter into commited relationships with at least 3 other people.  Actually it should be limited to 3 and here is why:

Roughly 50% of all marriages end in divorce and you have to figure that at least 25% more stay in unhappy marriages.  Women for example have the choice of three types of men:

The He-Man - This is the sculpted Adonis who spends 15 hours a day in the gym.  He could also be the rugged cowboy who looked like he stepped out of a Marlboro ad. This is the guy that gets most of the sex. Unfortunately like talking to a bag of rocks. Spends more time looking in the mirror than you do.  Sells Mazdas in the valley. (If the cowboy, sells 50 lbs bags of dog food at the tractor supply store)

Why would women go to a movie about gay dancers?

The Comedian - This is the guy who makes you laugh.  The guy that will take you out to a bar and actually dance with you.  If you want to have fun in public, this is who you call. Your friends love him and he can juggle but can't find your G-Spot.  Gets the least amount of sex.  Chronically unemployed.

Also more prone to be a serial killer.

The Sensitive - This is the guy that gets you. Not so much sexually (he's second to the He-Man), but he is the closest thing to a girlfriend to you and still have a penis.  Sexually, he spends more time trying to please you than himself.  He usually only gets the post sex ....Post menstrual, postpartum, post-getting-dumped-by-He-Man.  Basically anytime your depressed and/or craving ice cream. Invented Google.

Cries as much as you do.

 See, in the new Mormon run Romney administration, your new husband trinity will meet all your needs. This would be a Win-Win-Win and your mother will approve of at least one of them.  Probably the sensitive, he's likely a nice Jewish boy that always calls his mother.


Tomorrow- Part 2: The Ladies!